If this is going to be classic literature one day, I need your feedback. What would make this better?
“What are you going to drink?” I asked.
“A beer.”
“I see they have Tiger. What are you going to get?”
“I don’t know.” Her eyes moved from the bottom of the chalkboard menu to the top.
A waiter strutted to the end of the bar and placed two napkins in front of us.
“What can I do for you guys.”
“I’ll have the Tiger.”
The waiter nodded. “And for you?”
“I’ll have a Blue Moon.” The waiter nodded. He returned with the drinks. I put the money plus two dollars tip on the bar. She took her first sip.
“How’s that beer?” I asked.
“Good.”
“Mine too,” I said, “Wanna try?”
“I’m okay.”
“You’re always okay.” I sipped. “Anything wrong, doll?”
“No. I’m fine. Sometimes I just don’t like to try new beer,” she said.
“Life is trying new beer.”
“What?”
“Every day there’s a new beer to try. Like after we graduate, we’ll be at a whole new bar.” She looked at the basketball game on the flatscreen TV, then at the floor. “Are you really going to go to law school?” I asked.
“Yeah, why not?”
“Just wondering. You’d make a good lawyer.”
“You think so?”
“Sure.”
“Part of me just wants to travel with my sexy boyfriend and try new drinks.”
“I would like that too. But how would we get the money for it?”
“My daddy’ll give it to us.” I swallowed and brought the glass down.
“Agh, I wouldn’t feel right about that.”
“No seriously. I’ll just ask him and we can go like wherever we want. Don’t you wanna?”
“Course. It’s just that I can’t imagine us doing something like that. Feasibly.”
“You don’t want to, do you?”
“No. Of course I do. It’s taking money from your Dad I wouldn’t feel good about. I’d do anything for you.”
“But if he wanted to, wouldn’t you want to? Don’t you want to be with me?”
“Yeah you mean everything to me…Come on don’t be that way.”
“I’m not being any way.”
“Fine. Let’s go downstairs.”
The rock grotto wasn’t crowded. Her friends were across the room on the dance floor. I said hello to them and kissed them on the cheek.
After I got another beer I grabbed her ass. She liked that, I knew. I whispered into her ear, “Don’t be mad at me baby.”
“I’m not.”
“Good. Don’t be.”
I left her side to flirt with Catherine. When I made her laugh I looked to see if Daphne had seen.
She stood alone, leaning on the wall. I felt bad for her, but good that she wasn’t having fun since she didn’t want to have fun. When my conversation with Catherine ended, I approached her and said, “Do you want to go soon?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t know what to say so I finished my beer. We left hand in hand without saying good-bye.
Don’t afraid to be tough on me.
Love,
Daniel the Writer 