Daniel Adler a la Henry Miller

Last night I had dinner with an old friend. Bill. We recounted all the good times we’d had, and when he asked about Halloween, I told him my story, and we proceeded to share some laughs about a Halloween we had shared a couple of years ago. We had gone to a party with another of our friends who had turned in for the night, the party being only mildly enjoyable, consisting of jungle juice and crazed Warriors with baseball bats who started getting aggressive. There were pretty women there but not many we had eyes for.

So we were walking to my house on 2nd street, down 2nd avenue, that madhouse, sans cars, throngs of people washing over the pavement and filling the street in all kinds of costumed craziness, when Bill met a beautiful Latina, gorgeous girl, tall, thick masses of black curls dripping over her bare shoulder and pretty soon they were fresh at it, leaning against a lamp pole, while I watched with her friend, a freckled red-headed beauty with a thin bust and arms the color of tropical sand. I commented that it was going, pretty well, eh? We watched. She was a dominatrix. She had a whip. I suggested we return to my place for a menage a quatre, it unfolding in my head that we would have the entire basement to ourselves at this hour, and there they would be, leaning over couches as we high-fived and switched…

I suggested that since I live only a couple of blocks away we walk to my place, we could have lots of sex there. She readily accepted. They were from New Rochelle for god’s sake.

But when we were downstairs, nervous and horny, I realized that I didn’t have the special card key to open the lock.  I patted my pockets, but it was gone.  We had no other choice. I told them the situation and said we can’t all go in together. It would be suicide, my parents would hear the noise and we’d be out of luck. Let’s take turns. “I’ll bring you into the bathroom and we can have a round there and then we can switch or something.” Bill and Therese were already making out, they didn’t care. So I brought Emily in and we slobbered over each other and she took off her panties and sat on the toilet and her labia major was large but I didn’t give a damn, I just got onto my knees and showed her what I knew…

After that I said she should probably go. As we walked back into the hallway I heard loud male moans. I knew it was Bill. I’d deal with that after I let Emily out, that was the plan anyway, I had never offered them to spend the night. I pecked and hugged her, afraid to taste my own semen, and took her number anyway, just in case. I walked back inside hopefully to see Therese and Bill walking hand in hand but there were the moans still and I walked to a small alcove, near the stairs and saw his white hairy ass staring me in the face, hands stretched to the wall for support. I waited. Finally the moans surged and I heard her whisper, “Do you have a condom.” Then rustling. Then, drunkenly, “No. You should go.” You dumb bastard I remember thinking, I should run in there and offer. But that was asking for it. And I ran back down the hall so when I saw them coming down the stairs I wouldn’t have to explain myself.

Outside she went to meet Emily, now gone, and Bill turned to look at me. “Let’s get McDonald’s.”